As we have already stated, the church is suffering from a leadership crisis. It is not only seen in the church itself, but it is seen in the home as well. It would seem that many who desire to marry do so for the same wrong reasons as those who do not know Christ. God has spoken already on this subject of marriage and His word is absolutely clear. Many of us here tonight do not now what to look for in a wife, already regret the one we’ve married, and are trying to plot and to scheme the one we have, right out of the house, as if God is as stupid as we are and ignorant of what we are attempting to do. The fact is that many of us marry for the following reasons:

• 1.) Sexual satisfaction. Some of us are deceived to believe that if we are great lovers that this will keep our wives happy. That is a fantasy. It is just as much a fantasy as the deception that you think that you are such a great lover. This is the number one reason I believe that people marry.
  
  
• 2.) Showing off the beauty of your "woman." Some men’s ego’s are so small, they need a beautiful woman to draw the attention to themselves. We boast of how good looking our woman is, yet we don’t even know how to treat her.
  
  
• 3.) We want children. This isn’t only the desire of women, but of many men as well.
  
  
• 4.) Loneliness. Many a man gets married because he does not want to be alone. These are those men and women who like to quote "it’s not good for man to be alone" yet fail to read that the Lord gave Eve to Adam. God made the marriage.
  
  
• 5.) Physical attractiveness. Many a man has married some of the most physically beautiful women on the earth, yet, these women have no character, sense, convictions, Godliness, etc.
  
  
• 6.) Money. A strange as it may seem, many a man will marry a woman for her money, her educational skills, since he has none, prestige, she may be well known and he marries her to ride her coattail.

Well, if these are not the right reasons for marriage, then what is? The answer is commitment. Leave and cleave. I want to look at leadership in the home from three perspectives.

• 1.) How to choose the ideal wife.
• 2.) How to be a Godly leader that a wife will follow.
• 3.) How to lead your children in your home.

1. The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.

We know nothing about this man Lemuel, except that he was a king. The name Lemuel means, for God. It is possible that this may be another name for Solomon. The word prophecy means a burden or a load that was on her heart that she taught her son. This evidently was a strict warning since the word teach means to chastise someone. Here is the heart of a mother being poured out over her foolish son who evidently had problems in relationships with drunkenness and women. She’s urging her son to a place of wisdom, which evidently he was not walking in at that time. Brethren, if we have mothers who walk with the Lord, then we need to take some time and listen to what they have to tell us about choosing a wife. No one knows a like another woman.

2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?

What is it my son, the son of my womb, the son whom I have committed to God? She’s appealing to Lemuel that she loves him that he’s important to her and now urges him to pursue a life of righteousness.

3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

Don’t give your might and your wealth to women (plural). This probably refers to adultery. This same expression concerning women is found in Proverbs 5:9-14 (read) Not only did she give wise council concerning the useless pursuit of sexual immorality, but she warns him not to walk in the path of a lifestyle that will blot out your memory as a king. Sex and drunkenness has done more to destroy the lives of many a man who started out good in the political arena.

10. Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies.

Let us be careful not to forget that the instruction given as well as the description given are all from a woman, for a mother of wisdom, pleading with her son not to get involved with worthless women and drunkenness, but to find a woman, a virtuous woman, a woman worthy to marry. Now, no one understands a woman better than a woman, and if this woman instructs her son that he needs to be specific in choosing a virtuous woman, then this instruction needs to be heeded. The problem is that most men who look for a woman or wife also choose oftentimes for the wrong reason. Beauty, her physical attributes, the way she walks, her soothing voice, the way she flashes those eyes, and lets not forget that million dollar smile. All of these things are absolutely meaningless as far as virtue is concerned and as we will see in this study, are all vanity and deceit! The honest truth is this, we as men sell ourselves short when we refuse to find a woman of character to date and marry. We are oftentimes interested in sex more than anything else. This is the truth and most men lie when they refuse to admit that. A Man will run to physical beauty infinitely quicker than for character any day. The reason? Flesh. We make evaluations on the physical attributes of a woman, thinking, in our deceived minds, that this will somehow make me more of a man to myself and to others. We as men live in a fantasy world, believing that appearance can substitute for character. Outward beauty effects nothing inwardly and as many women will tell you, their physical attractiveness and sexual abilities are the very traps that are used to get a man. Little do they realize that the same traps that they use to trap men, trap themselves as the many affairs and divorce courts will testify. Or as the Proverbs themselves state, in chapter 11:22,

As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. (taste, understanding)

Who can find a virtuous woman? The tense of the verb indicates that the search is still going on. Who can meet and find a woman of strength, character and substance? For her value is far above precious stones. The first thing that we need to see about a virtuous woman is that she is RARE. All women are not virtuous, though all women who claim to be worshippers of God need to strive toward that end. This is by no means the first time that we have seen the virtuous woman in this study of Proverbs. Look at 12:4, 19:14 (woman of insight & wisdom)

Ruth 3:9-11. We can learn a valuable lesson from Ruth’s example of virtue.

• Vs 9: She is a servant. Examine the record of her lifestyle.
• Vs 10: Kindness, faithfulness. She wasn’t a flirt, chasing men, looking for a husband. She wasn’t vain, chasing younger men or possessions.
• Vs 11: Her reputation was so impeccable that everyone in the entire city that knew her all recognized that she was a virtuous woman.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Her husband completely trust in his wife and has no need of the fear that she would cause the finances to come to a place of ruin. She is a good manager of the home and of the finances. She works with her husband as a team player. She is a true helpmeet. She does not waste the hard earned income that is brought into the house. There ‘s no need to tell others that your husband does not trust you. The issue is this, can he trust you? This is the question that needs to be asked. A virtuous woman is one who can be trusted.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

She is an asset to her husband, not a liability. The words, good and evil, could mean agreeable, not disagreeable. She does not make it her aim to be a disagreeable influence in her husbands life. Her goal in life is to do her husband good all the days of her living. The goodness that a husband experiences in this life can be directly attributed to the virtue of his wife. She enhances his life. She’s supportive and encouraging to her husband, all the days of her living. She can either lift her husband to the heights of bring him down to ruin. The woman of virtue will be encouraging to her husband.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

She takes delight in working with her hands. She’s not lazy. She enjoys making clothes for her family. We will see this truth concerning the clothing again and again in this book.

14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

As a merchant ship brings trade from other countries, she is a good shopper, shrewd, a wise business woman, bringing many unusual and different things to enhance her home. Brethren, you want a woman with some common and industrial sense. You don’t have time to be a husband and raise a wife.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

She’s the first one up before day, preparing food for her entire family as well as for her female servants and giving instructions to her servants as well. Try to find a woman who knows what it means to cook something. You don’t have time to be a husband and a chef.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

She uses wisdom as she considers buying a portion of land for the purpose of planting a vineyard. With her own hands she plants a vineyard. She is a hard worker. Brethren, find a woman who knows the meaning of the word, work. You don’t have time to be a husband and put on the apron.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

She is a strong woman, both physically as well as spiritually. Her attitude towards work is right. Being at home as opposed to working outside the home does not mean that the woman can spend her time watching dope operas and talk shows. Her goal is to God and her family. Her strong biceps and physical abilities do not come from step aerobics, but from steeping up from that bed and to work around the home. It’s remarkable how some women can spend their entire life at a gym, trying to look good and find it so hard to lift up a frying pan and cook for the man, and the kids. She can bench press her body weight, but can’t press her husbands slacks before he goes to work. She can lift up to 200 pounds of barbells, but she can’t get up in the morning to fix breakfast. No my beloved., the virtuous woman looks good because she works hard, not because she works out.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise [is] good: her candle goeth not out by night.

The results of her planting her vineyard is good. She not only the first one up in the morning, but the last one to go to bed. Many women find time to do everything their flesh wants them to do while at the same time sacrificing her family. And even if she did stay up to do what is right for her family, her long face and dragging lips reveals that she really does not want to do it.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

She makes clothing. How few women do that today.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

She has a genuine concern for the poor and her arm is always extended to them.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household [are] clothed with scarlet.

Winter snows do not cause her to panic because she has already prepared her family’s clothing. She has virtue because she plans ahead. She does not procrastinate for the proverbial "tomorrow."

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing [is] silk and purple.

Not only does she sew for her family but also for herself and with all of that work at home, she still has time to look good. Many husbands are turned off completely in the romantic sense because of a woman who looks worse than he does.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

This man takes his place among the other leaders of the land. His reputation is known amongt those of authority, probably the leaders of the city. The husband’s reputation is enhanced by the wife.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth [it]; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

She is involved in selling her clothing that she has made to merchant traders. Girdles are sashes or belts. Linen garments are expensive. But her diligence pays off as she sell the best of her wares to traders.

25 Strength and honour [are] her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

Strength and dignity are her inward spiritual garments. So few women are concerned with their inward clothing. God talk and religious rhetoric are not clothing of inward beauty. Look at I Timothy 2:9-10 (read). She can look to the future and not be afraid because she prepares for it. This brings her joy!

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness.

When she opens her mouth it is with wisdom and her lips speak the tender mercies of God. She will not speak unless wisdom is the speech and when she speaks, the tender mercies of God comes forth. There are fewer things in life that are more disgusting to anyone than a foul mouth, rude, callous, rebellious woman, who speaks wickedness and with whom is no mercy. To call herself a Christian is a greater repugnancy.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

She keeps a steady and consistent watch to the ways, the doings, of her household. She also will not devour a sluggish behavior. Many women waste their time doing things that produce a sluggish attitude. Whenever you are not familiar to hard work, it will reveal itself in a lazy, sluggish attitude. The only solution is being virtuous.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also], and he praiseth her.

Her own children take their stand and blesses their mother. Her husband boast about her. He says, ain’t no woman like the one I got, no no they don’t come better. Sisters, you will never have to worry about your children or a Godly man, not praising you if you are a virtuous woman, they will do it.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

Many women have been virtuous, but you have ascended all of them. This is what a Godly man will tell you if you are a virtuous woman.

30 Favour [is] deceitful, and beauty [is] vain: [but] a woman [that] feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

Here’s the real problem with women, deny it as much as you will, it matters not. Most of them are interested in their outward appearance and ability to charm a man than being a woman of spiritual character. Favor is: charm, elegance, grace and deceitful, meaning, a lie, fraudulent. Many women know how to put on the charm, they float like a little bird and they walk gracefully, but that is deceptive in terms of any spiritual virtue. Beauty, physical beauty is vanity. Most of these women spend their time looking good, their idol is their face. You see my friends, both charm and beauty are tools that women use to substitute for virtue and remember, a woman wrote this instruction, I didn’t. They use these useless tools to trap some unsuspecting man. The proverbs already warned us about this deception, Proverbs 6:23-25. It is also important to know that beauty and charm are vanity because they will not last! A woman who is a woman of virtue, who has demonstrated Godliness in her life will be chosen infinitely more than a woman with physical beauty, when all of the max factor, ponds, dental and breast implants fade into oblivion. Only a woman who fears the Lord will be a woman who will shine bright.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Her own hard work and reputation of virtue will make its boast of her in the city. It is fitting that the book of Proverbs ends as it has begun, with the cry of wisdom.

Now let’s examine point # 2.) How to be a Godly leader that a wife will follow.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

The text does not say that the husband SHOULD be the head of the wife. The text does not say that the husband BETTER be the head of the wife. The text does not say that the Lord is the head of the wife. The text says that the husband IS the head, the Lord, if you please, of the wife. Turn to I Corinthians 11:3. The word, woman, in this verse, refers to the wives. Both of these passages make it very clear that the husband is the head of the wife. Brethren, we are the head of our homes. Just because we relinquish our role to our wives, just because being a spiritual leader in the home is a lifelong and oftentimes a difficult task, does not remove the fact of what we are. We need to take our rightful place as heads of our homes and stop allowing our wives to do what they cannot do. We need to take the ball back that we gave to our wives because she put her hands on her hips and closed her thighs in protest to your leading. Look at the text again, it says that the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. Jesus is the Lord of the church and the husband is the Lord of the wife.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

This is the number one reason why we fail as husbands. We are willing to do just about everything our little scheming allows us to do, except to face the fact that many of us do not love our wives. This word for love is a supernatural love. It is God’s divine love operated in a marriage by a Holy Spirit filled husband towards his wife. This love produces a fondness, being content with her, loving her dearly. How many of us told our wives this week that we loved her? When was the last time that you said no to the fellows, sp you could spend some time with your wife? When was the last time that you brought her some flowers, chased HER around the house, kissed her, cherished her? The text says, husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church. Christ gave Himself over into the hands of another, he gave Himself for the church. In this manner, we are to give ourselves towards our wives. He demonstrated His love for the church by dying for her, are we willing to die for our wives? We may say, yes, I am willing to die for her, knowing full well that the odds of dying for her are next to nothing. If we are willing to die for our wives, which would be the greatest sacrifice that we can make for them, then how much more should we be willing to live for them, which would be the lesser sacrifice? Look at Colossians 3:19. Not only are we to love our wives, but we are not to deal bitterly with them. We are not to irritate them, exasperate them, be angry with them, grieve them. Many husbands do this and that is why their wives refuse to have anything to do with them. A woman will forgive a man as long as she knows that he loves her, but if she ever gets to the place where she is frustrated, grieved, treated with bitterness and physical violence, the odds of her ever trusting you again are next to nothing. Many times we make this fake repentance before our wives, with great big dinosaur tears, promising to do better, professing that we will follow the Lord and be better, only to break her heart once more as our lifestyle reveals that our professing is a sham. When this happens on a consistent basis, then bitterness rises up in her heart, she cannot trust your lying words any longer. Our wives are as tired of our hypocrisy as we are of theirs. We are also to show honor, value to our wives. I Peter 3:7 (read)

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

Christ demonstrates His love for His church by providing all that she needs to be holy, pure, clean and free from blemish. This is the way that Christ cherishes the church. What are we doing brethren to enhance the holiness and purity of our wives? If our wives follow our example, would the be holy or unholy? How much time do we spend with them, teaching them the bible, demonstrating by example how to live holy, not religious?

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

In the same manner, that Christ cherishes the church, so husbands are to nurture and cherish their wives with tender care. The text clearly teaches that you love yourself, in a positive way. You provide for yourself, which means that you love yourself. Well, we should provide for our wives as we would ourselves, seeing that we are one flesh.

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Leave mom and dad and be a man! Learn to take the responsibility of being a man. Stop allowing your parents and your out-law, in-law, to ruin your marriage! When you do that, then cling to your wife, hold her tight, because every kind of advisor on the planet is coming along to tell you what you should do. We better listen to this word and be men in our homes. Then the text says, and they two shall be one flesh. I hear so many, many people speak of this as some esoteric union, being woven into one fabric. That is not what it means at all. What it means is, have plenty of sex with your wife!! Look at I Cor 6:15-16 and see exactly what it means.

18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. 20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings. 22 His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins. 23 He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.

Brethren, leave these other women alone!!

This is one area that we fail greatly in. Again, leadership in the home is still by example. Proverbs 4:1-13: Clearly Solomon is passing down wisdom which he learned from his father (David) and in turn is passing down wisdom which he lived and is now qualified to teach to his own children. We cannot teach our children what we do not practice ourselves. Our children despise hypocrisy as much as we do.

The main responsibility of raising, teaching and discipling our children rest on the father, not the mother.

• Proverbs 1:8, 3:11-12, 4:1,3, 6:20, 10:1, 13:1, 13:24, 15:5, 20, 17:21, 25
• 19:13, 20:20, 23:22, 23:24-25, 28:7, 29:3, 30:11,17
• Hebrews 12:9-10

Finally, here are 14 guidelines that the scriptures teach us of our responsibility of disciplining and train your children.

• 1) If you refuse to discipline your children, to correct them, the spank them, God says that you hate them.
  
  
• 2) The main responsibility towards raising the children rest on the father of the home.
  
  
• 3) The instrument of discipline or correction is the rod, not talking to them, not your hand.
  
  
• 4) If you refuse to discipline or correct your children, you are sinning against God.
  
  
• 5) Your children are sinners, not angels.
  
  
• 6) Crying on the part of the child in no justification to reject or to stop correction.
  
  
• 7) Your time is limited in the area of spanking children.
  
  
• 8) Proper spanking of the child will not kill him.
  
  
• 9) Without correction, the neglected child will bring you a lifetime of shame and grief.
  
  
• 10) Discipline or correction of your children will bring you rest and delight of soul.
  
  
• 11) Discipline or correction of your child may very well save his or her life.
  
  
• 12) The root cause of refusal to discipline your children is rebellion, foolishness and the rejection of God’s wisdom.
  
  
• 13) Proper raising of our children also requires biblical instruction.
  
  
• 14) You will never make God out to be a liar by your refusal to carry out His wisdom thinking in your deceived mind that you can properly raise your children by your disobedience to God’s word.

We are witnessing in our country today the results or the fruit of years of self centered behavioral patterns. What I mean is that in our society, we have been programmed for so long that the needs of our individual self outweighs the needs of anyone else, with the inevitable results, that we do not truly care for anyone else. If we say that we care, it is usually for the purpose of using people as stepping stones to further our own advancement or personal satisfaction. There are few people who are truly motivated to help for helping sake, thought there are some. Unfortunately, this same attitude has found its way in many a church and has devastated the work of God as far as ministry to one another is concerned. Having said all of that, I believe that I can say without the least bit of contradiction that in all that we have studied on his issue of the biblical church alone, there is a definite need of ministering to one another that is selfless, commanded by God, beneficial to the entire church body, unworldly in nature, and that is possible to achieve by every member of any true Church body because the Lord has empowered every believer to do it. Not only has the Lord empowered every believer to do it, but He has also instructed us in the pages of scripture of how to do it. Just remember that we are all responsible to serve one another. This was seen in passages that we have already covered in detail in this study and in many other areas of teaching in this church. One of the classic passages concerning the responsibility to serve is clearly seen in Galatians 5:13-14 (read). The church body, growing towards spiritual maturity, is a church body that serves one another, with God’s supernatural love being the motive, in fact, the only motive. So critical is this truth that without this love, there can be no true service, no ministering, and no growth. If we attempt to serve God’s people without God’s love, it is a meaningless act which, from God’s perspective, is a waste of time and valueless even to the one doing the work. (ICorinthians 13:1-3 read).

There is no question that all believers are to serve one another, God’s divine love being the motivation. Then why is it that so many churches and so many professing believers fail at this area of service to each other? Could it be the lack of information? Could it be the lack of power or ability to carry out this command (and it is a command)? Could it be that another agenda(s) exist other than God’s? Was God lying to us or trying to deceive us in the instructing us this way? Obviously, whatever the reason is that people offer up as a reason not to fulfill God’s clear plan is something that comes from ourselves and certainly not from God. God’s plan is clear, He empowers the body to do exactly what He commands His church to do. So whatever the reason is that people offer up to avoid doing God’s will does not come from Him, but ourselves, and these reasons need to be repented of. I have said all of this as an introduction to our next section concerning the biblical church which maybe and extension of the theme of our responsibility towards one another. This section in Titus 2, shows us the responsibility that we all share towards this ministry of growing up and ministering to one another. There is no excuse at all as far as not ministering to one another is concerned. If we fail to minister to one another, it is not because of God, but ourselves and we need to be reminded of that. God has empowered us to grow and to learn and to minister. Let’s look at Titus 2:1-8, 11-15 (read). Paul has already instructed Titus in the selection of God’s qualified pastors to lead the church. He instructs Titus that God’s shepherds are to be those who are teachers of sound doctrine. Sound meaning, healthy, that which brings wholeness and health to a church body. False teaching cannot do that, this is why it is to be eliminated at all cost to any church that expects to grow properly and to remain healthy. Truth, God’s word, is the only teaching that will make and keep a church healthy and strong. Nothing else will do that although many things are offered that can do it. Unfortunately, even a cursory look at the church reveals that the church’s failure to follow God’s simple plan has resulted in disaster rather than supposed growth. Anyone can see that if they look with spiritual eyes. True church growth is measured in spiritual growth, not in numbers. Anyone that thinks for one second that numbers alone is the evident of spiritual growth has not had the experience of being involved in the leadership aspect of church growth. I know for a fact that numbers can be the death blow to any ministry, if those numbers consist of shallow people, or even religiously lost people. Gimmicks that are being used to bring in numbers have destroyed more churches that you could ever imagine. Whatever you used to bring people in the church, will be that which will keep them there. If you use anything other than the word of God, lived through the lives of God’s people, then forget it, it will fail, in fact, it has already failed. Just try to apply an expositional foundation to gimmickry and you will see just how fast that house of cards come tumbling down. If the scriptures are foundational to the church’s growth, then you will be blessed. The man of God is to bring before the church, sound doctrine, that is all and that is enough. Nothing else is to come from the pastor’s lips except the sound teaching of God’s word. This alone makes and keeps the church healthy.

The application of this sound doctrine will be revealed in the relationships that we have towards one another. The church is not just an organization thought it has organization. Rather, the church is a family, described in the next few verses. Many pastors and hierarchies that run them treat the church as some sort of business. Members are never told the truth that the church body is a loving family of older and younger men and women who care for one another, with leadership setting the example. Older men are to demonstrate in their behavior a soundness in their life. They should demonstrate qualities that reveal that they have been truly living for God over a period of time.

• Sober: Sober-minded, control over his behavior.
• Grave: Dignified, respected, a spiritual character that is attractive to others.
• Temperate: Sound understanding, discreet, self-controlled.

Sound in faith: The word sound is the same Greek word for sound used in verse 1. There should be an ongoing demonstration of a healthy walk in faith, love and patience. Older men should demonstrate faithful behavior. They should be men who are trustworthy in their behavior. They should also be sound in their love. This is God’s love, demonstrated in actions of affection, compassion, good deeds, and devotion to God. They should also be sound in their patience. There are two Greek words for patience. One is used for endurance under adverse circumstances and the other is used for endurance under adverse people. The word used here is for adverse circumstances. An older man who has been walking with the Lord for a period of time should be models of patience. One of the reasons why we have so many unhealthy churches, is because we have few, if any, strong biblical older men who will set forth an example.

The next three verses deals with the older women’s role towards the younger women in the church. Bear in mind that if a church does not have these models of healthy saints, the church will not be healthy as it needs to be. One of the greatest and neglected roles in the church is the responsibility of older women to be role models for the younger women and the responsibility for the younger women to learn from faithful, older women.

Behavior that becometh holiness: Older women, like the older men, are to demonstrate a behavior or manner of life that is sacred. That is what Paul is saying. It means to act like a sacred person.

Not false accusers: Not given over to slander or gossip. Unfortunately, this is the reputation of many an older woman. Embittered by life, they teach others by example to carry on the work of the devil by slander and gossip. The word for accuser is the devil. At the end of a gossiper’s tongue is the lips of the devil himself.

Not given to much wine: Not a slave to wine. Not a drunkard. There are multitudes of women today who are alcoholics. Older women should not be dependent on booze to get them through, but on Christ Jesus, our Lord.

Teacher of good things: There has been a grave error in the church that women cannot teach. That is not true. The role of their teaching IS LIMITED to teaching other women, not men, not being the chief speaker, pastor, bishop, etc. The role of older women teaching younger women is clear and one of the reasons why many churches are lacking healthy younger women is that we do not have older women teaching younger women, we have older women trying to teach everyone else except younger women and pastors having older women teaching none of the younger women. This is wrong and a healthy church will have older women in the role of teaching younger women. An older woman must be an accurate handler of the scriptures. If she is not skilled in the word, she cannot and should not be teaching anyone. What are the older women to teach the younger women?

That they may teach the young women: This word, teach, is another Greek word which means, to train to think and act soberly, discreetly and in moderation. The older women will teach the younger women to live a disciplined lifestyle by the example of their own disciplined lifestyle.

To be sober: Sober minded, having mastery over emotions and passions.

To love their husbands: One of the reasons for so many divorces in the church is because young women do not understand their roles and responsibilities as a wife and they do not have an older woman as a role model to see how it is done. I will declare that God is going to hold older women accountable for not taking the responsibility of teaching younger women how to love their husband. The word here for love means to be a friend. Wives need to learn how to be a friend to their own husbands.

To love their children: Older women need to teach younger women the responsibility of motherhood. They need to learn how to properly love their children. The word for love here also means to be a friend. A younger woman needs to be her child’s best friend.

To be discreet: Wise.

Chaste: Purity of life, free from moral defilement.

Keepers at home: Workers at home. One who looks over the domestic duties with wisdom and care. Older women need to take some of these younger sisters home and teach them how to clean up a house, how to cook a meal and how to care for their families.

Good: Useful

Obedient to their own husbands: Younger women need to be taught by example and scripture the importance of their roles to their husbands. They are to submit to them in everything according to Ephesians, chapter 5. But why, you may ask?

That the word of God be not blasphemed: The purpose of living a sound life, young lady is that your life does not bring reproach to the word of God.

Young men exhort to be sober minded: Titus was to urge the younger men, unsettled because of age and immaturely, to have a controlled and disciplined life. (I Timothy 5:1-2)

Paul then gives instruction to Titus himself as he urges him to be an example, a pattern for the people in his:

Doctrine: Purity and boldness in his teaching. Titus was to preach an unadulterated message and was to live that message in an unadulterated way. Sound doctrine must be applied to life, not just to the head.

Sound speech: Titus was to continue in teaching and living healthy doctrine. If Titus was an example of the words he spoke, those who opposed him world be made ashamed.

The Responsibility of the various roles of believers towards one another. Titus 2:6-8, 11-15.

Last time together we have seen the responsibility of each age group applying sound or healthy doctrine for the spiritual growth of the church body. The older men are to be models for the church body, setting the lead with soundness in love, faithfulness, in their ability to demonstrate patience during the trails of life. They must be models of temperance, not impulsive, or impetuous by nature. They are to have mastery over their passions and desires and to live a controlled, temperate lifestyle. They are also to be models of respectability. People are to look to them and want to emulate their lifestyle because it is so much like Christ.

Then Paul spends a significant amount of time in commanding Titus to instruct older women to take the younger women into their care and to train them in domestic and spiritual responsibilities. Most of us just assume that younger women were already knowledgeable in these 2 areas. That is a wrong assumption and it can be easily seen by the lack of understanding, application and desire to perform either one of these 2 areas that are most important of women. The fact is, that for the most part, younger women are failures in the areas of domestic responsibilities, in their home life, in regards to respecting their husbands, and being friends to both husband and children. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that the majority of younger women haven’t a clue of this important area of biblical responsibilities. Women perform their biblical responsibilities, not because the pastor said so, not because it is forced on them, not because it is an escape from the employment field, but because it is the demonstration of a woman of virtue. Look briefly at Proverbs 31:10-31. Virtue, moral and spiritual character and dignity motivates the God-fearing woman to do her domestic responsibilities joyfully. She sees her role as a true helpmeet, not as a competitor to her husband, not as a usurper of the home, not as a spiritual leader, but as a wife, a Godly wife. The failure stems from the lack of proper role models of older women in the church, who have been given the responsibility of training these younger women to do these things. Once proper role models have been found and have demonstrated themselves to be Godly in their lives, then they need to take the responsibility to train by example and by scripture, the younger women in both domestic and in spiritual responsibilities.

Young men exhort to be sober minded: Titus was to urge the younger men, unsettled because of age and immaturely, to have a controlled and disciplined life.

Paul addresses Titus to urge younger men to be sober-minded as well. All other age groups were to be sober in their behavior and young men were to be no exception. It is interesting that with all of the instructions that Paul gives, especially to the women, that he would command Titus to command and to urge the younger men in one great command, be sober minded! Although that may seem a small command by comparison to all we have read in this chapter, please don’t be fooled! As I have said last time, Paul is not wasting words here. Paul writes of the character of each age group. He says exactly what needs to be said to every group and remember, he’s writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. This command to the younger men is not by any means implying that the younger men have it all together and that all they need to do is to master this one little issue and it’s all over. No, not at all. What Paul is saying here is that when it comes to younger men, as you look over the entirety of their lives, in every area, they need to be sober minded! I believe that it is essential to define our term, sober minded!

To be of sound mind, to be in one’s right mind, to exercise self control, to put a moderate estimate upon one’s self, think of one’s self soberly, to curb one’s passions.

One of the interesting usages of this word is in Luke 8:27-39 (read). The man was uncontrollable, wore no clothes, never stayed at home, full of demons, bound and shackled. That sounds like a perfect description of most of the young men that are being described by society today. This is a description of the lost man. It took salvation to bring this young man to the place of right-mindedness.

In the church there needs to be the sober-mindedness of younger men that directs the entire life. Sober-mindedness should characterize the entire lifestyle of the younger men. Look at these words again that should describe the younger men as it relates to the sober-mindedness of younger men. To be of sound mind, to be in one’s right mind, to exercise self control, to put a moderate estimate upon one’s self, think of one’s self soberly, to curb one’s passions. In the relationships between the young men and the other age groups described in Titus 2, we need to go back to I Timothy 4:12,16 as well as 5:1-2(read)

I Timothy 4:12

Youth conflicts with aged people. This is a fact of life, unfortunately. There is sometimes a resentment that is carried between an older man, or men, and younger men, especially if they are over them in Christian leadership. Timothy was not to show cowardice, but to be an example, a pattern for the believers to follow. How or in what?

In word = Speech, in teaching.

In conversation = Conduct, life style. Teaching must affect the teacher before the students respect the teacher. If the people see the teacher setting the example, they will respect the man. If the teacher speaks good doctrine publicly, but it is hard to find in the lifestyle privately, believe you me, the people will not respect you at all. The people of God will measure what we say by what we do as teachers. They will expect the highest character from us and rightfully so, because we have been called into leadership. If we cannot teach by example, we need not teach by word.

In love, God’s love.

In Spirit, Spiritual living.

In faith, Faithful, dependable behavior.

In purity, The only other time this Greek word is used in the N.T. is in this epistle and it is used in the younger men’s relationship with the younger sisters. This word refers to sexual sinning. In our relationship with the younger women, intercourse is dead!

Verse 16:

Do not neglect your own teaching and its application to your own life! Also what is needed is that younger men must take heed, pay attention to your own need of being ministered to. Young men need to take heed to control themselves, lest they be put on the shelf (I Corinthians 9:24-27). All of this goes right back to self control, sober-mindedness, in the life of younger men. This of course means that we, as younger men, must get a grip on what is truly important. That is, living in the pages of the scriptures and following after God. Ridding ourselves of those things that hinder us to run the race and win the prize.

Then in chapter 5:1-3, after dealing with the character of the man, he now instructs Timothy, who is also to be a pattern of the believers, as Titus was also instructed, in the relationships with the other age groups in the church.

Verse 1: Do not reprimand an older man, but appeal to him, urge him, as you would a father. He was to have a relationship with men of his peers as he would with brothers. The younger men need to strengthen each other in relationships with each other. Accountability!

Verse 2: The older women, he was to show the same respect and love as with a mother. The relationship with the younger women is to be that of a brother-sister relationship. Here we see the caution given in this relationship, with all purity! The word purity is the same word that we saw in chapter 4:12. There is to be no sexual relationship at all in the brother-sister relationship. Young men are most prone to fall in this sin, if they are not careful and diligent to stay focused on the goal, the prize, the race. We are to do with sexual sin, just as Joseph did. Turn to Genesis chapter 39:1-21(a). Go back to Titus 2:7-8

Paul then gives instruction to Titus himself as he urges him to be an example, a pattern for the people in his:

Doctrine: Purity and boldness in his teaching. Titus was to preach an unadulterated message and was to live that message in an unadulterated way. Sound doctrine must be applied to life, not just to the head.

Sound speech: Titus was to continue in teaching and living healthy doctrine. If Titus was an example of the words he spoke, those who opposed him world be made ashamed. Lit. He would shut their mouths by his lifestyle. Their criticisms of him would fall on deaf ears to the embarrassment of the one bringing the false charge or accusation. All of this was to be done, all of this sound doctrine was to be applied and practices for one resounding, foundational reason...

1.) The scriptures reveal Christ.

*Luke 24:2727 And beginning at Moses and all the prophets, he expounded unto them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself.

The scriptures are not a self help book, nor is it a story of unrelated events written by confused men. The bible tells the story of God’s redemptive plan for His fallen creation. The bible, given by God, to mankind, reveals that redemptive plan in the person of Jesus Christ, the redeemer. Jesus revealed Himself to His followers from the pages of the Old Testament.

2.) Moses represents the Law.

3.) The Prophets speak of His first and His second coming.

Now look carefully at verses 46-47 and see what Jesus said the scriptures revealed:

46 And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behoved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day: 47 And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.

We can see clearly then that the Old Testament scriptures reveal the redemptive plan of God for His fallen creation. No doubt, the New Testament scriptures do the same as the redeemer brings that plan to man Himself. God so loved the world that He gave us Christ Jesus, to save the word from their sinfulness, death and judgment to come. To give to man eternal life and fellowship with his creator. So many times we miss this greatest of the great truths of scripture.

Jesus rebuked the religious leaders for their useless searching of the scriptures. Let me explain what I just said. Jesus is actually asking a question, He asked, "you are searching the scriptures? And in that searching alone, you think that you have eternal life. But the scriptures bear witness of ME and reveal ME, and you refuse to come to ME that I may give you eternal life. The scriptures are designed to bring a man to salvation, in Christ Jesus. Many a man or woman boast of their abilities to know and believe the bible, yet they’re is no redemptive life, no regeneration, no coming to Christ. They look at the scriptures as a good book, a book of religion, a book of heavenly thoughts. They go to it when they need words to live by, yet refuse the savior of life Himself. They go to its pages to find comfort, yet they do not possess the comforter in their lives. They go to the scriptures to find help for their circumstances, yet they do not find help for their soul. Indeed many, many people are like these Pharisees and religious rulers. Religious, useless searchers of the scriptures, having missed the clear message of it. Having missed the redeemer.

Titus 2:11-14
For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, 12 Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; 13 Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; 14 Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.

To release on receipt of ransom, to liberate by payment of ransom. To deliver: from evils of every kind, internal and external. This redemption, experienced by a believer produces a fiery zeal of performing good works for the one who redeemed them. Paul makes this truth very clear in another passage when he says in I Corinthians 6:19-20:

You are brought, redeemed, purchased with a high price, the blood of Christ. (Ephesians 1:7, Colossians 1:14, Hebrews 9:12-15 Read). Because the redemptive price was so high and so great, for that reason Paul says in I Corinthians 6:19-20 to glorify God in body and spirit (soul or life), which both belong to God. Since we have been redeemed, we have no longer any ownership over our lives, we belong to God and are to do His bidding. Remember Titus 2:14, 14 Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.

Jesus not only opened their intellectual ability to understand the scriptures, but He opened them fully. There was no question as to the meaning of the scriptures when Jesus opened their mind and hearts to what they were reading. He brought all of the truths together concerning Himself and opened their minds to understand them. It takes divine enablement to understand the scriptures. Psalm 119:18, I Corinthians 2:9-11. In our age, we rely too much on human ability, human reasoning, degrees and education to try to understand the scriptures. Although we may claim to understand that it takes the Spirit of God to reveal the truth to us, most of the time we are not dependent on Him at all, but on ourselves. That is one reason why so many people spend thousands of dollars buying the latest bible, going to the latest seminar, seeking the most scholarly teacher, but we will not pray for discernment or understanding of the truth. We fail also in the area of application of the truth in our lives and make all diligence to grow, as Peter states in His epistle. In applying diligence to grow in the disciplines of the Christian life, we will indeed grow in our understanding of the scriptures. It is not the version that is the issue, it is our obedience to God, as a habit of life, and our dependency upon His Holy Spirit to open our eyes to the truth that’s the issue.

Romans 1:2
(Which he had promised afore by his prophets in the holy scriptures,)

The scriptures are sacred, they are divine, they are most holy.

2 Timothy 3:15
And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

Because the scriptures are inspired by God, we need to be mindful concerning our treatment of divine things. The word in the life of the believer is to be devoutly revered. The treatment of scripture is crucial in the matter of salvation. Paul said that the sacred writings are able to bring a person into salvation through Christ, by faith in Him. It is the scriptures that brings a person into relationship with God, more specifically, the message of the gospel of Christ as we have seen over and over again. The purpose of the church inward is spiritual maturity, the purpose outward is proclaiming the truth of the gospel. The sacred scriptures will save a person who will embrace the gospel.

2 Peter 3:16
As also in all (every one) [his] epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as [they do] also the other (rest of) scriptures, unto their own destruction.

5.) The scriptures are to be learned so that we may develop patience and that the scriptures may comfort us.

Romans 15:4
For whatsoever things were written aforetime (The scriptures of the O.T. specifically) Were written for our learning, (instruction and teaching)

That we through patience (endurance, In the NT it is the characteristic of a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety, even during the greatest trials and sufferings of life),

And comfort of the scriptures (exhortation, admonition, encouragement that the scriptures alone bring)

Might have hope. (To get a firm grip on our hope, to hold on to hope).

Even during times of death among believers, the scriptures are to be the tool of comfort among believers. Look at

I Thessalonians 4:13-18
But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. 15 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. 16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: 17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. 18 Wherefore comfort (same word as in Romans 15:4) one another (mutually) with these words.

**2 Timothy 3:16-17
All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

Paul states that all of the writings, O.T. contextually, is God breathed. This refers to source. The source of the scriptures is God Himself. What will scriptures do for the individual who embraces it?

• 1) (Doctrine) Teaching, instruction
  
  
• 2) (Reproof) Conviction
  
  
• 3) (Correction) Restoration to an upright or right state, correction, improvement of life or character
  
  
• 4) (Instruction in righteousness) Training and education in integrity, virtue, purity of life, rightness, correctness of thinking feeling, and acting
  
  
• 5) (Perfect) Fitted, complete
  
  
• 6) (Throughly furnished) To be made ready to something.
  
  
• 7) (Unto all good works) To every good deed.

 

**2 Peter 1:20-21
20 Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. 21 For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.

Scripture is not the concoction of an individual’s own self interpretation as of source. The scriptures were not unloosed by some human wisdom or ability. The scriptures as of source, is not human. The truths that are contained in it were not unloosed by some formula of man, but the divine oracle, the prophecy, the scriptures came from the Holy Spirit, moving along the writers to write. Scripture was not the invention of man or of men, but the source of the scriptures is God and the writers were borne along by the Holy Spirit.

Finally, we'll look at The One Anothers Of Scripture.